Misery Signals

As I reach out my hands to the sky
It's in this moment that I've come to realise I've played my part
For all of those who said it could never be done
This is for you
Tormented by my every undying devotion for you

I have destroyed myself
This time it was all or nothing
I struck the match and turned away
Torch the fields and pray for rain

I have entered the eye of your storm
A pause in affliction
But I'll never feel so alive as I do when your world falls apart
I feed on the thrill of knowing that all our hope is lost
I want nothing more than to be given a chance to start again

If I could find the cure I'd cleanse myself of all I know
Cut the cord, bring the plague
Start again
I'd give anything to return to the nothing, from which I came
Ash to ash, dust to dust
Start again

I'd give anything to return to nothing

If not forgiven, will this all be forgotten?
As this guilt will outlive us both
Dear God, what have I let myself become?